Few things are as common or as stressful as money problems. When you have children and a family to feed, making ends meet is a constant concern, especially if you are like most people in America today. Being without financial concerns is, sadly, something that few of us nowadays can enjoy. While many financial problems are completely out of our control, there are plenty of ways you can take control of your financial life. Doing so will allow you to take better care of your family and make sure they don’t have to struggle through tough financial times. Below we will look at some of the most common financial problems facing families today and how to address them.

Too much debt

Americans are drowning in debt. The average student debt alone is currently in excess of $30,000, while credit card debt for the average household is $15,000. Americans, meanwhile, are carrying mortgages that are, on average, $150,000. That’s a lot of debt and it doesn’t even include other debts, such as medical expenses and car loans, that can make paying the bills feel all but impossible. Many people rely on getting an instant loan just to keep up with their payments. However, if you are struggling with debt then you are going to have to take more drastic measures to address the problem. Usually, dealing with debt comes down to changing what your priorities are. If you treat debt as your main financial priority, then you will begin to see it come down. Focus on your high-interest debt first or talk to a credit counselor about possible solutions for paying down debt faster.

Lack of communication

Finances are a big reason why so many Americans today divorce, largely because a lot of couples fail to communicate effectively about money. Everybody has different financial goals and expectations, but if your spouse doesn’t know what they are then problems are going to erupt. Furthermore, most people have different personalities when it comes to money, with some enjoying the security that comes with saving and others enjoying the thrill of spending and acquiring new things. Even if you are a saver, don’t count on your husband or wife being the same. While it can be a difficult topic of conversation, sitting down and going over the family budget is important. Set limits on what each of you can spend a month and agree on what your priorities are going to be as a family. That sort of communicative approach will not only help your wallet, it could even save your relationship.

Sudden loss of income

You could suffer from a sudden loss of income in a variety of ways. Most obviously, you could simply end up losing your job or have your hours cut. Or maybe you have a baby on the way and you need to stay at home while your spouse goes to work. Or maybe your income was already too low to begin with and it’s preventing you from saving enough to get by. Dealing with this problem can be difficult. First, make sure you have a plan in case you lose your job one day. This means getting your finances in order fast and building up enough savings so that you will have some time to look for another job if you lose your current one. Having savings in place will also allow you to develop skills that may be necessary for finding a new job. While you have your current job, maybe consider going to night school (if you can afford it) so that you will have some new skills you can fall back on if the worst happens.

If you simply don’t have enough income as it is, then it is time for you to start cutting your expenses. That means doing up a budget and figuring out where your money is going each month. Chances are there are more than a few items you can do without. For example, if you have a good internet connection and can watch most of your favorite shows online then do you still need a cable subscription? And instead of buying a gym membership just to use their treadmill, why not go for morning runs or bike rides around your neighborhood? While such savings may not seem like much, they usually add up to thousands of dollars each year.

Supporting a family is tough, especially when the economy seems so uncertain. If you are struggling with money, then take the steps necessary to keep on top of your financial priorities so that your family can live more comfortably.

Tom Hanson shares his tips on all things relating to personal finance. He has worked as a personal finance consultant for several years, and as a Dad with 3 kids to support he himself knows how tough it can be.

 

Sometimes it’s not possible for you to be with your children every day. Perhaps you are on active duty in the military, you have to make a business trip, or maybe you are a co-parent. This is not only tough for you, it can also be incredibly hard for your children. So why not make sure they know how much you love them even when you can’t be together. Here is a list of some small gestures you can make that will make your child feel special and loved every single day, even on those days when you can’t be there.

Give them a special gift: There’s nothing like personalized gifts to make your kids feel special. How about message t-shirts telling them how special they are? These will remind them of you every time they are worn. Here are some more personalized gift ideas.

Write them a letter: This is a very special way to share how you feel with your kids because they can keep it with them and read it over whenever they are missing you. Let them know what’s going on in your life and tell them how much you love them and miss them.

Make them a video: If you have young kids, why not make a goofy video of yourself to make them laugh. For older children, you could make them a “day in my life” video so they can see where you are and the things you do each day.

Talk to them online: Although you may not be able to be in the same physical location as your kids, you can still communicate with them using Skype or FaceTime. Each offers a video platform to make audio and video calls and they’re both free. This is a great way to stay in touch and show your kids you care.

Write a journal: Keep a journal when you’re away from home and write in it every day so you can give it to them when you get back home.

Leave notes: Next time you’re getting ready to leave on your trip. Leave little notes in their room for them to find later, or if they’re coming to visit you, leave them around their room in your home. You could put them in a glove, a reading book, a lunchbox or under their pillow.

Leave messages: If you call and there’s no one home, leave a message on the answering service so that they can hear your voice when they get home, and they can play the messages as often as they like.

Give them a reminder: Give your kids something to remind them of you. Whether it’s one of your t-shirts, a photo, or your favorite toy from your childhood, it will make them feel closer to you when you’re away.

Make them a checklist: Pin them a hugs and kisses checklist on the fridge so they can get a daily dose of your love. This will also allow them to count off the days until they’ll see you again.

Give them something of yours to sleep in: Let them snuggle up at night in your PJ top or t-shirt so they will sleep soundly thinking of you.

Give them a surprise a day: Write them a note, draw them a picture or get them a card for each day that you are away. Put each surprise in a separate envelope with the day and the date written on the front. That way they have a new surprise to open every day while you’re gone.

Make them a paper chain calendar: Make a paper chain with a loop for each day so they can tear it off before bedtime to count the days until you come home.

Give them something to snuggle with at night: Get them a new soft toy or snuggle blanket so they won’t feel lonely in bed at night.

Get some stickers: Get some sheets of stickers and make a calendar with them so your kids have a special sticker each day that you are away.

Read them a story: Read them a bedtime story over the phone or on Skype or FaceTime.

No matter where you have to travel or how long you have to be away for, you can always let your kids know how much you love them every single day. This is important for them so they can grow feeling safe and secure and important for you, so you can feel close to your kids even when you can’t see them.

Eva Farrell writes about parenting. She is Mommy to a 7 year old and a 4 month old. Her articles appear on mommy and lifestyle blogs.

 

The conversation around gender has become heated over recent years. At first, we just had boys and girls, but now we’ve got up to a hundred different genders. We’ve all heard the expression that “boys will be boys” – but what exactly does that mean in a society that seems to have become obsessed with the latest social justice movements?

For many moms, it can be a confusing time. They’re being told all sorts of things by different people and psychologists. But the principles of raising boys to be great men haven’t changed over time. Instead, they’re being slowly improved, and moms learn more and more about what makes great parenting every year. Here are some principles to abide by if you’re raising a son.

Boys Need A Reason To Push Themselves

Many moms will know the frustration that comes with having a son who doesn’t want to push himself in school. Instead, he’s content with skipping homework and spending all evening on the games console.

This sort of behavior doesn’t mean he’s bad. In fact, this is precisely what humans are wired to do when faced with a task that seems pointless to their short and long – term goals. The problem is that people aren’t evolved to learn stuff that they perceive as pointless. Their brains are only able to process so much information, and so they conserve resources for the things that they think are important. Pythagoras’ theorem has no real-life bearing on an eleven-year-old boy’s life, and so he ignores it and instead focuses on the things that do matter, like how to be popular at school.

Science also makes it clear that people only learn when they have an internal motivation to do so. This is why people who embark on passion projects tend to become far more highly skilled in a discipline that people who simply show up to lessons, week after week, even though they find them irrelevant. The person who can see a point to what they’re doing will learn all that they need to learn independently. The boy who simply sits there, hoping that the math they are learning will make its way into their brain via a process of osmosis will learn less.

So what can moms do? As with so many things in life, it’s actually a much better policy to “let go.” By letting go, you open up the possibility that your boy will find their own reasons for doing things. Many moms worry that if their kids don’t learn to read at a third-grade level by the time that they are in third grade, then they will “fall behind.” But the evidence from psychologytoday.com suggests that this isn’t true. On the contrary, once a boy has decided that they want to read, they pick up the ability very rapidly – as long as they are doing so because of their own internal desires.

Mom’s, therefore, should try to create reasons for their sons to read. One great reason why many kids start reading is because they are fascinated to know what will happen to fictional characters in a book. Just giving your child a book and saying something like, “I saw this book about a mouse who was a warrior, and I thought that you might like to read it” can get them hooked. Often children can pick up how to read without any external instruction, making the links and working out the words for themselves based on what they’ve learned so far.

Another thing you can try is introducing them to new ideas and possibilities. Many great scientists, for instance, were inspired by the things that their parents introduced them to when they were little. It can be something as simple as a battery made from a lemon, or as magnificent as a telescope. Often, children will invest hundreds of hours exploring something which interests them.

Boys Need Physical Activity

Thanks to the education system, boys spend most of their time sitting on their backsides in class. And while this might be perceived as good for their intellectual development, it doesn’t set a good example when it comes to being physically active.

According to Sarah from FrugalFun4Boys.com, young boys have a need for hard physical activity – even physical labor, to let off steam. There are all sorts of things that boys can do to get fit. They can go down to the local church to rake leaves, they can do landscaping at friend’s house, and they can ride their bikes.

Another option is to get into sports. Sites like DontPayFull.com have coupons that help moms save money on sports equipment at outlets like Millet Sports. You don’t have to introduce them to team sports if you don’t want to. You can introduce them to adventuring sports, like hiking and climbing.

Boys Love Things That Explode

While it’s true that boys will sit down and play chess or curl up in a corner and learn a book, they also have a penchant for things that explode. The cool thing is that you can turn this apparently destructive impulse into something that is constructive, with the right environment.

One example is the chemical rocket. There are all sorts of videos online showing you how to make a chemical rocket from household ingredients and an old soda bottle. Chemical rockets are a great way to get kids interested in science and chemistry and perhaps even designing their own launch vehicles.

There are other ways to get boys interested in nature too. Drones are a great tool for this. Not only to they allow boys to create stunning images, but they also teach things like safe use and respect for privacy. Drones are an excellent way to establish empathy with other people, since they have to be used in a respectful manner. Drones can also be used to capture beautiful videos which can then be uploaded onto the computer and edited further. Video editing is a skill in itself and is time well spent compared to, say, playing video games.

 

Leaving your child in someone else’s care for the first time is a big step. Apart from the psychological challenges of handing over temporary responsibility and dealing with your separation anxiety, there are all the fears about what could happen if something goes wrong. Will your babysitter keep a cool head and react appropriately? Can you be contacted and can you get home in good time? One thing you can do to ease your tension is to prepare a clear list of guidelines for your babysitter.

A Never-Ending Quest

As your kids get older, you will build up a regular reservoir of trusted babysitters, but there will inevitably be times when none of them is available and you will have to rely on a new sitter. Fortunately, there are web-based ways to find a babysitter near you who is experienced and reliably reviewed, but it’s still helpful to dig out your tried and tested list and run through the rules.

Before you step out the door, you will want to be confident that your sitter understands not only the basic requirements of the job but also your own expectations. Treat the visitor with respect—you don’t want a reputation as the difficult parent no one will sit for—but politely draw attention to what you want.

House Rules

Your house rules will be your own, but the following are a starting point:

 

• No visitors. Nobody should be allowed to come into your house whom you have not personally approved.

 

• Nothing should be watched on TV that is not suitable for children to witness. TV should be kept at a low volume so that the sitter can always hear the children.

 

• No smoking, alcohol or drug use.

 

• No raiding your cupboards—it is better to provide a supply of snacks and drinks.

Safety First

The safety of your children is your number one priority. Be sure that your sitter has the information she needs and is confident about using it:

 

• Leave the first aid kit in a prominent place, and show the babysitter where it is. Also show her where the fire extinguisher is kept, and the best way to get the children out of the property in the event of a fire.

 

• If your child has any health issues, inform the babysitter of the correct procedures to follow. If there are allergies, list clearly the foods that must be avoided, and check that she knows how to use an Epipen if necessary.

 

• Provide a clear list of emergency phone numbers, including your cell, the place you are going, another adult contact, your doctor, and the emergency services. The babysitter should never be embarrassed about calling for help. You may consider leaving a medical release form to authorize emergency treatment.

 

• Children should not be taken out of the house unless there are specific arrangements to do this.

Building a Team

A really successful babysitter will not only keep your children safe, but will also build a rapport with them so that they look forward to seeing her.

 

• Explain routines, to help the sitter create an atmosphere of normality and security. If you have situations that are guaranteed to spark a tantrum, let your sitter know how to avoid them. Explain your policy on using treats and bribes.

 

• Put everything the babysitter might need—diapers, pacifiers, teddies, etc—together in one place, so that they do not have to leave your children at a crucial moment to search for them.

 

• Point out the favorite toys and the best stories to achieve calm. Calming down excited or distressed children is a skill learned with time, but knowing what usually works with your family will certainly help.

 

• However boisterous your children, insist that games are gentle while you are not in the house. It is easy for accidents to happen when things get too exciting.

Don’t be all about the negatives. Encourage your sitter to use their own experience and skills to build a relationship with your children. Expect them to discover new tricks to share with you.

Use Your Head

Most of the rules about looking after other people’s children boil down to using common sense but even so, an inexperienced babysitter needs help to learn them. In a mobile age when grandparents and relatives are not always on hand, there is an increasing need for reliable babysitters. By giving clear guidelines, you can play your part in building the next generation.

James Blewitt served honorably in the Marine Corps before receiving an Associates in business and then founding his online consulting company in 2003. His main focus is spotting the current online trends and finding how they can make life easier for business owners as well as the individual consumer. He currently resides in Pittsburgh, PA.