Contrary to what many may think, divorces aren’t always messy affairs. But in some cases, they can become complicated because of various factors surrounding the marriage or because one or both the parties are actually hindering the process through their actions. However, there are some things that you can do to make sure that the process remains as simple as possible. In this article, we’re going to give you a few basic mistakes mothers make when filing for divorce.
Divorce, especially if this is your first time around, can be one of the most difficult challenges in your whole life. And any issues relating with money, property or your children will be emotional. But you should never let your emotions dictate your path and course of action.
This is easier said than done considering that you may be in a emotional tailspin at the moment and might not be in the best state to discuss things like finances. Or you may be overwhelmed by fear and uncertainty about your financial future. But rushing into a settlement now could spell disaster later on and could make a huge difference down the line.
If we were to give you one piece of advice, it would be to regroup first and seek emotional help from someone close to you before you enter into any kinds of proceedings. They will not only be able to give you some basic advice if they’ve been through the wringer before, but also give you the emotional support that you so desperately need at the moment and bring you back to clarity. Only then will you be able to start focusing on your plan.
Not Getting Thoroughly Informed
It’s still surprising to see how many mothers enter family law cases while being completely in the dark. Either they’re intimidated by the whole process, waiting for their lawyers to handle everything for them, or they go in with their heads full of half truths and misconceptions. However, you have tons of resources at your disposal and it’s possible to understand how separation and divorce law works in your jurisdiction if you know where to look.
However, don’t think that you have the qualifications to represent yourself in court just yet. Meeting a lawyer will give you knowledge and a more solid foundation. Work with experienced family lawyers if you want to understand the basics of your case and what you can expect. For those living in Canada, one recommended company to look into is Crossroads Law. This firm was founded around the goal of creating a family law service with a client centred approach, so you know they have your best interests in mind. These experienced divorce lawyers will be able to walk you through things like spousal support and child custody and will be able to explain some of the quirks and details surrounding divorce laws in your area.
You should also be informed about your rights as well. You shouldn’t have to worry about getting kicked out of your property because your spouse has decided to stop payments. Knowing your rights is essential if you want to know what you’re entitled to and how you’re protected. And make sure that you aren’t rushed into any settlements out of intimidation.
Speaking of intimidation, make sure that you don’t let your ex partner intimidate you into avoiding litigation. They might try to trick you into thinking that your lawyer is only out for your money, but don’t fall for it. If you’re involved in an acrimonious split, your lawyers should be the ones communicating, not the parties directly.
Putting too Much Weight into Free Consultations
Sure, it’s nice to know that you’ll be able to get some level of advice for free, but you shouldn’t get too excited about free consultations. Chances are you’ll only get summary information from a very junior lawyer. However, they’re still a decent way to gauge what type of firm you’re dealing with. However, if you want to get valuable information, then you have to be ready to pay for it.
Borrowing Money from Family Members for your Legal Fees
A lot of people will automatically think about borrowing from their family and friends when the time comes to file, but that could be a huge mistake on your part. Friend and money don’t often mix. Try to find any other source for financing if possible. You could look if you can use your home equity or apply for a credit card as an alternative if you want to avoid issues.
Not Avoiding Financial Sabotage
If you leave joint credit lines open after you’ve made it clear that you’re going to be filing for a divorce, you are opening yourself to all kinds of issues. Your ex could do everything in their power to ruin your credit by taking all kinds of dubious loans and running up your credit. So, make sure that you close any joint credit lines and home equity that could be used to sabotage your credit, liquidated, or used to fund the other party’s litigation before anyone knows that you’re actually going to be applying for a divorce.
This is why it’s important that mothers are well aware of their household’s full financial picture at all times. Too many mothers make the mistake of letting their partner take care of everything that has to do with money in the house. In other cases, they might have a solid grasp on anything related to household accounts, but be completely in the dark when it comes to the family business. If you don’t have a clear picture of your finances, you won’t be able to come to a fair settlement.
So make sure that you have access to your tax returns, and have access to your investment and bank accounts’ documents and passwords. And make sure that you review your credit report and look for discrepancies as well.
While this can seem intimidating at first, know that you don’t have to deal with it on your own. A good financial planner will help you with the whole process and will allow you to better interpret and organize all of this data.
And if you have important parenting related fees that need to be taken care of, make sure that you do it now with marital funds before you have to deal with the courts. If any of your kids need an important surgery or an elective surgery that they may need in the foreseeable future, do it now since things could get complicated later.
Starting a New Relationship Right Away
While you may be tempted to seek comfort in the arms of someone else during this difficult time, it’s a very bad idea to enter a new relationship right away before the divorce is finalized. This will only add fuel to the fire, even if the other side happened to be the one who was unfaithful in the first place. Don’t give the other party any type of ammunition or reasons to throw a wrench into the proceedings. Try to keep things as amicable as you can if you want the process to go as smoothly as possible.
Conclusion
Mothers are often the most vulnerable party when comes the time to file for divorce. That’s why it’s important that you come as thoroughly prepared as possible and know as much as you can about the process in order to facilitate it.