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Another Summer has come and gone

Posted on | September 1, 2010 | No Comments

I sit here now when I should be sleeping.
Tomorrow kicks of a new school year for Zman and the Drama Queen meaning I have to get up super early to see them off.
Part of me is glad that school is back in session yet part of me will miss the Summer.
This Summer was by far one of the best we’ve ever had.
We took advantage of it and spent a lot of time together as a family.
From what Zman and Drama Queen have said, they had an absolute blast.
I’m so happy we were able to do so many different things.
We survived another Summer filled with Soccer and Baseball.

They experienced new modes of transportation.

They experienced the sights that Door County has to offer for the first time with their favorite part being this moment

We took an afternoon trip to Oshkosh for some fun shopping at the outlet mall followed by an awesome lunch at an Irish Pub.
(Sadly, no pictures from that day — bad mommy!)

Zman ran a 5K.

There was our vacation to Rhinelander to visit family and check out some sites that Northern Wisconsin has to offer.

Someone played in the mud

Zman and Drama Queen made their First Communion

Zman made a new friend.

There are so many more things that happened throughout the Summer.
This just highlights our favorite parts.
It’s been a great Summer and I’m sad to see it go, but little do they know……..
Fall is going to be a blast too!
This mom still has a few tricks up her sleeve!

Category: Drama Queen, Kid's Activity, Parenting, TaterTot, Vacation, ZMAN, family
Tags: summer > vacation

Emotional Wreck

Posted on | August 30, 2010 | 9 Comments

A friend of mine asked me today, “When do the hormones stop?”
She has a daughter who is just over 1 month old.

As moms, I’m sure we’ve all hit that point when not only handling motherhood for the first time but with subsequent childbirths as well.
When I had my first child, 11.5 years ago at the age of 20, I can honestly say that I didn’t have any real hormonal issues.
Yes, I worried that I wouldn’t be a good mom at the age of 20, let alone a single mom at the age of 20.
But somehow, I managed to get through it and I know I owe a huge part of that to my parents for having been there for me when I needed them most.

17 months after my son was born, I became a single mom to 2 at 21.
It was this pregnancy when my emotions took over.
I was 21, pregnant, a single mom and facing the impending birth of another child while my friends were all out celebrating being 21 and having the time of their lives.

During this pregnancy, I became depressed.
And worried.
And scared.
I resented not only myself, but my unborn child as well, yet, I was excited.
(If that even makes sense.)

When she was born, I was elated, yet I was overcome with emotions.
How was I going to raise two kids?
Again, I have to give props to my parents for stepping up and helping out and always being there for us.

I can admit that I hit some really, really low points after my daughter was born.
And, I did quite a few things I am not proud of.
And, I said a lot of things to a lot of people that I wish I could take back.
And, I lost a lot of friends because I let my anger and depression get the best of me.
And, I miss those friends.
I wish I could make things right between us again, and who knows, I might be able to sometime in the future.

With my 3rd pregnancy, things were both better and worse.
They were better in the aspect that I wasn’t scared and I knew that I wouldn’t have to do things alone this time.
I was (and am still) lucky to have a wonderful man by my side to support me throughout my pregnancy and knowing he would be there after the baby was born helped to lighten the load.

They were worse because I struggled with the idea of starting over with another baby and going through all the steps again.

After I delivered baby #3, things were fine.
For a little bit.
I think it was when he hit 3 weeks old that I started to notice changes in myself.
Changes like crying for no reason, or while watching TV, or reading a book, even when I was just sitting by myself in the quiet, I would cry.
Then came the anger.
Everything made me angry.
Not to mention I was exhausted.
It didn’t take much for me to get angry and bite heads off.
I would get so mad.
And then, then I got depressed.
And I ate.
And ate.
And ate.
I was exhausted, overwhelmed, lonely and about a million other words.
That’s when I realized something was definitely wrong.
I did what any mom addicted to the Internet would do.
I turned to Dr. Google.
There it was, staring back at me on the screen:

depressed mood
tearfulness
inability to enjoy pleasurable activities
trouble sleeping
fatigue
appetite problems
suicidal thoughts
feelings of inadequacy as a parent
impaired concentration
Decreased interest in sex
Feelings of rejection

I had most of the symptoms of PPD.
Postpartum depression.
So, I talked to my husband about it.
Then, I called my doctor.
And was prescribed an anti-depressant.
It did help curb the mood swings and I am glad to say I no longer need it.
In addition to the meds, I did some reading.
One of the books that really helped me out landed in my hands shortly after my youngest turned one.
I had stumbled across a blog about a woman who had suffered from PPD and learned she had written a book about it.
It wasn’t a book written by an actress or a doctor.
It was written by mom.
A mom like me.
So, I read it.
And it amazed me.
To hear her story and know that I wasn’t the only one who had gone through or was going through this.
This book made me laugh.
Yes, I said laugh.
There was humor in a book about PPD.
Who knew it could be done?
I learned things from this book.
Like how to open up and talk to people about what’s going on with me.
And I recommend this book for any other women who are going through the same thing.
I still look back at that book as a reference when I’m facing a new struggle such as a mood I haven’t encountered before or just as help to get me over a bad hump.

Category: Health, Parenting, Random Ramblings, Venting
Tags: anxiety > childbirth > health > postpartum depression

Satisfied.

Posted on | August 30, 2010 | 4 Comments

Unless this is your first time here (and if it is WELCOME!), you can tell things have changed.
A lot.
But, I love it.
It took me a few hours of fighting with some HTML coding but I really think it was worth it.
I wanted something a little more quiet but with flair.
Oh, and my family.
Cuz’ they are pretty darn great!
Hope you like it!
Be sure to leave me your thoughts!
Thanks!
P.S. I’m pretty sure I’m FINALLY satisfied!
P.S.S. Don’t tell my hubby cuz he might not buy me anymore goodies.