In all honesty, I wish I could paint a prettier picture of how my Christmas vacation went down, but the title really sums it up.

I went to bed the night of Christmas Eve eve with a twinge of pain in my left ear. By the morning of Christmas Eve while sitting on the love-seat at my in-laws home, the pain became more uncomfortable. By the time we had opened presents at their house, driven 30 minutes north to my husbands grandmothers house, eaten meat pie, taken a brief nap and opened gifts, the pain was becoming a burden on my day. After the 30 minute drive back home, then back up north to retrieve my camera and the hubby’s phone from grandma’s house and not to forget that 30 minute drive back home, the pain was unbearable.
So, I did what any good mom, wife, and daughter-in-law would do, I down some Vicodin, a penicillin and put a few drops in my ear and laid down to get a little nap in before the festivities were to continue.
When I awoke just over 2 hours later, I admit, I felt pretty damn good. That could have just been the drugs causing me to hallucinate but I sucked it up and off to my in-laws house we went to have Christmas with the rest of the family.
As the evening progressed, and the drugs began to have zero effect on me, I realized that I was having a hard time hearing out of my left ear at this point and it was swollen. I’m not talking like bruised swollen, this is like hit me with a baseball bat swollen.
By 11:30PM Christmas Eve, I was in the ER.
By 1:30AM, I was at home drugged, playing Santa Claus.
By 1:32AM, I was in bed passed out.
When I woke up on Christmas morning with the family to open the gifts Santa had left under the tree, the pain was unreal.
I watched the kids open their presents and then promptly crawled back into bed.
After a 3 hour nap, I got up, showered, got nauseated, prayed to the porcelain god and got dressed.
At noon, we pulled up at my parent’s house.
I slept through most of the events.
I was awake long enough to open presents and take a moment to puke once again before curling back up on their couch and passing out until after dinner.
From there, the Hardworking Hubby brought me back to the ER.
Yes, the infection was indeed getting worse.
I left the ER with a wick in the left ear, swelling in the right and enough pain meds to knock out the entire US Army.
Once we got home, I was back in bed only to return to the ER for the THIRD time the next day upon instructions of the nurse my hubs talked to on the phone because even with all the meds, I was getting worse.
From there it was back to the ER, a new antibiotic and more pain meds later that I returned home, took a nap and woke up a few hours later finally feeling some relief!
The next morning, Monday, I went to see my family doctor who sent me to the ENT.
The ENT’s thoughts—WORST OUTER EAR INFECTION HE HAD EVER SEEN!
So, after an intense and traumatizing cleaning of the ears and a wick in each in addition to more drugs, we were sent on our way with an appointment to return in 2 days.
(Side note: The traumatic cleaning of the ears in where the maxipads come into play, who knew that such a thing could cause Aunt Flow to stop by for a very unexpected visit almost 2 weeks early!)
Now, I sit here today, exactly one week after my first trip to the ENT having just returned home from what I hope was my last.
My ears are finally feeling better, the pain is just about gone, my left ear is great, the right is still struggling to hear at 100%, I’ve downed more percocet in the last week then I probably will the remainder of my life and am finally beginning to feel like myself again.
Moral of the story: Q-Tips are BAD!